Stages of Labour: What Actually Happens (and What No One Tells You)

“Is this it… or not?” Am I in labour?

One of the biggest questions we hear:

👉 “How do I know if I’m actually in labour?”

Because here’s the truth:

👉 labour doesn’t start like the films where waters break, pains begin...baby is born!

There’s no dramatic moment where everything suddenly becomes clear.

Instead…

👉 it builds
👉 it shifts
👉 and it can feel confusing

So let’s break it down properly.

The 3 stages of labour (simply explained)

Labour is usually divided into:

1. First stage - your cervix opening
2. Second stage - your baby being born
3. Third stage - delivering the placenta

But within that first stage…

👉 is where most of the confusion lives

Stage 1: The first stage of labour (this is the longest part)

This is when your cervix opens from:
👉 0 to 10cm

It has two key phases:

The latent phase (the bit that messes with your head)

This is early labour. Some people refer to it as false labour. 

And honestly?

👉 it can be the trickiest part mentally

What it feels like

• irregular tightenings
• period-type pains
• back ache
• excitement mixed with “is this actually happening?”

What no one tells you

👉 this phase can last hours… or even days

And yes, that’s normal! It can stop and restart!

The mistake many people make

They:

• start timing everything
• get hyper-focused
• assume this is it & things should progress quickly

Which often leads to:

👉 frustration + exhaustion before labour properly begins

What to do instead

👉 carry on as normally as possible

• rest
• eat
• distract yourself
• stay at home if you can

Think of this phase as:

👉 your body warming up, not performing yet

Established labour (things get real here)

This is when:

👉 contractions are regular, stronger, and longer

Typically:

• every 3-5 minutes
• lasting around a minute
• don't change in strength or frequency when you change position

And your cervix is:
👉 around 4cm and opening further (you can't see this, it's happening inside).

What it feels like

• more intense contractions
• less talking, more focus
• needing to breathe through each peak

What’s actually happening

Your body is now:

👉 doing the real work of opening the cervix

This is where:

• breathing techniques
• calm environment
• support from your birth partner

👉 really matter

Transition (the bit no one forgets)

This is the final part of the first stage:

👉 around 8-10cm

What it feels like

Let’s be honest:

👉 intense

You might feel:

• overwhelmed
• emotional
• like you “can’t do it anymore” 
• some even get a fleeting thought of "I might die"!

It's all caused by a rush of adrenaline which will actually help you birth your baby. 

Here’s the deal

👉 when you feel like you can’t do it…

👉 you’re usually about to! You're right at the end of this stage

This is often the moment people say:

👉 “I want to go home” (I've known people grab their bags to leave!)
👉 “I can’t do this”

And we midwives quietly think:

👉 “You’re nearly there…”

Stage 2: Second Stage of Labour - the Birth of your baby

This is when:

👉 your cervix is fully open (10cm)
👉 and your baby moves down and is born

What it feels like

• strong urge to push
• pressure rather than just pain
• a shift in energy (more active, less inward)

Important to know

👉 pushing isn’t always rushed

Your body often:
👉 guides this naturally

Don't allow anyone else to tell you it's pushing time! Listen to your body. 

Our Live Hypnobirthing Webinar (not hypnosis! 🙄):
👉 teaches you to BREATHE your baby out!

Stage 3: Third Stage of Labour - Delivering the placenta

After your baby is born:

👉 your placenta still needs to be delivered

This usually happens:

• within minutes to an hour

You’ll be offered options around how this is managed. We encourage delayed cord clamping for at least 3 minutes. 

What about timing?

This is where expectations need resetting.

👉 there is no “normal” timeline

First labours often:

• take longer

Subsequent labours:

• are often quicker

But every labour is different.

The biggest mindset shift

Instead of asking:

👉 “How long will this take?”

Ask:

👉 “What’s happening right now?”

Because labour is:

👉 a process to move through
👉 not a timer to beat

The bottom line

Labour isn’t:

👉 one big dramatic event

It’s:

👉 a series of phases
👉 each with a purpose
👉 each bringing you closer to meeting your baby

If you want to understand going into labour with confidence and clarity, that’s exactly what we teach in our online antenatal course & in person classes 💜